Ei Shob ki? (my first one ever)

Intro: Our world is in great danger! Terrorists are making it even
worst! All of us heard about the huge terrorists attack in India! Which
was done by only a couple of young civilians who were trained by
Terrorists! There are many other civilians are getting recruited
everyday! This message is for them! Don't go for it...

Here it goes!
http://www.4shared.com/file/74811008/c824ebf5/_2__Ei_Shob_Ki.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't raise ur gun, do no harm, on the poeple who doesn't have one
Your trigger is on, u guys r going on, what's the point of kill and burn?
Kocho gola guli, haate ache awchro, tobe jaderke marcho, taratho nirawchro
Taate tomader ar ji holo, shudhu monochotto haralo, ar nirdosh shoto shoto baibonera morlo

But what's happening, to all those heartless being, who r making all those things
If u really wanna play the game, of non-stop firing, why do u kill those "phochotto" beings
Ek dike bomb blast, arekdike golagoli, desh moder rokte vora, shontrashira dei haate tali
Desh moder rokte kaadey, shontrashira heshe bole eishob karai bar ar korbe, tomader shob desher chele

Dekhte pari na ar ai kahini, Shunte chai na ai kannakati
hindu muslim danga dye ar hobe ki? lathalathi, kopakopi, khunkharapi
Bondh, bondho, are BONDHO koro, eishob ki? eishob ki? eshob ki?
DON'T LOSE UR HUMANITY

Rastai, dokane, Traine, hotele, bomb shudhu futche ekhane sekhane
kew haralo chele, kew ba meye, chotto sishura kaade ma-babar khoje
raat theke bhor hole, shami jai kaaje, ar chotto chotto chele meye, jai biddaloye
dupur theke bikel hole, tader ferar kotha, shondha theke raat holo, ma peolo na tader dekha
sintitoma chunche, newser kotha, ektu pore sei ma chomke gelo, kew naki take ar dakbe na ma
dukho koshte bhenglo sei mayer monta, olpo boishe she je holo shamihara bidhoba!

Dekhte pari na ar aije sriti, shunte chai na tader kaana kaati
niriho lokhjon mere ar hobe ki? rokhto, golagoli ar shokunider party
Bondh, bondho, are BONDHO koro, eishob ki? eishob ki? eshob ki?
Don't end the people's DESTINY!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so people! :D:D this is my first one EVER! and just to let u know its my real voice! havent change anything! DIDNT even mix cuz i donno how to ! Just direct record volumed up a bit thats all! so i know its not great but still let me know how is it? what should i improve?

PLZ MODERATORS I REALLY NEED UR FEEDBACKS plz haat jor kori!
and thanks to all of u!
umm and this is the demo as well for that competition!
and one more time THANK YOU!

P.S.: plz rate it! comments and explanations would be appreciated as well:)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Translation

what's this?(like eishob ki has a lots of meaning in bengali that u can't say only with one expression in English)

Don't raise ur gun, do no harm, on the poeple who doesn't have one
Your trigger is on, u guys r going on, what's the point of kill and burn?
u guys are firing cuz u have arms but the ones that u r killing r armless
but nothing gonna happen to u, u r just gonna lose ur manner, and hundreds of innocent brothers and sisters r paying for that!

But what's happening, to all those heartless being, who r making all those things
If u really wanna play the game, of non-stop firing, why do u kill those "savage" beings
at one side, bombs r blasting, and on other side firing, bloods r all over our country, but the terrorists r applauding
our country is crying bloods, and the terrorists r laughing and saying that it's the guys of ur countries who made that disaster

dont wanna see that scene, dont wanna hear people crying
whats the point of hindu-muslim riot? fighting, stabbing and killing
stop stop stop it! what is this? what is the point of it?
DON'T LOSE UR HUMANITY

bombs r blasting everywhere, on the road, in the shops, in the train even in the hotels
some people r losing their sons, others their daughters, and little kids r crying cuz they cant find their mother and father
when morning comes after night, husband goes at work and little boys n girls go to school
when afternoon comes after noon, they r supposed to get back home, but evening came after afternoon, but mom haven't seen them getting back
so the thoughtful mom is listening the news, but after a while she got shocked cuz no one gonna call her mom again(cuz her kids got killed)
even more painful, she got broken her heart cuz she lost her husband as well at such a young age

dont wanna see that scene, dont wanna hear those people crying
whats the point of killing innocent beings?blood, firing and "shokunider"(a bird donno what's in English)party
stop stop stop it! what is this?what's this all about?
Don't end the people's DESTINY!


P.S.: Dont comment on the translation it's for ur understanding even if u comment it's not worth it!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG rofl rofl rofl lmao lmao lmao ahahahaha hcants stop laffin shitttttt.......

ok whats funny?

buohohohohohooho

but wait cant get u guys whats so funny? if something is wrong just let me know!

not bad JD...juss wen u rap dont yell and all...keep ur swagger n attitude ryt...and wen you singin try double layering and harmonizing...and do the sound leveling properly...cos eretime you was singin and you rap...i jumped up...cos u juss come outa no wer n yell out...n ur putting 2 much emotion in a bit 2 much...keep your swagger ryt...n make sure u hav a proper hook and erething...

thanks bro but what do u mean by double layering? and proper hook? \\

and the rest yeah i will try to improve
thanks

F.L.O. wrote:not bad JD...juss wen u rap dont yell and all...keep ur swagger n attitude ryt...and wen you singin try double layering and harmonizing...and do the sound leveling properly...cos eretime you was singin and you rap...i jumped up...cos u juss come outa no wer n yell out...n ur putting 2 much emotion in a bit 2 much...keep your swagger ryt...n make sure u hav a proper hook and erething...

sure bout dis bro ??

chigga instead of criticizing try to help out! that would be more appreciated!

ok... STOP SINGIN....

double layering as in...recording another layer over it that myt giv u the warmth u need for da singin...and harmonizin more will do...and wen u rap dont yell...this is deep stuff so try and get ur point across n make ppl hear you..u get me?

i might not be able to rap bro but gaan gaite pari na dont say that! cuz oi bangladeshei gaan gaya puroshkar paichi!

yeah bro ggot u!

nahh JD sing man sing u hav no scale problems what so ever juss need to mix the thing properly and have the warmth thats needed for the song...and dont juss keep on going and going...have a chorus and a verse lyk dis...mayb sing da first verse....sing the chorus...rap the second verse...and sing the 3rd verse...or rap the whole song and sing the chorus =D...juss a few pointers next trak bring the heat okay...and its not clever to release a deep song for the first 1 =P...cos ppl dont realli lissn 2 it...but yea man...i wont say dis was a good job..but u have potential...

thanks! bro really appreciate that! gonna try ma best!

and i dont sing to HEAT i wanna sing to deliver my messages! anyways as u say so, i will try ...

im sure u will mek it to da tourny with this demo...no doubt

etao ki arekta joke naki?

umm.. not THAT bad bro- buh as this iz ur firs trak.. u can improve a lot if u try, i know that. and chigga, remember ur 1st track with racool- "dirty"- it wasn reali a very good track still i tolchu that it was okey bcuz - i mean.. we re here on this site to help each otehr improve so why're u discouraging him? buh, now ur one of the best underground emcees .. so - like.. don judge ppl eredi

en JD Bro, i cudn understand many words.. :e - lik rap more clearer nex time en lik f.l.o sed- u jus yelled outta nowhere at times in the track.. so ye- improve on that too, ye! tc bro -1-

Dirty te mixing kharap hoisilo..but chiggas part was alteast ok somehow. !
JD gud job bro...u will make it to da tourney,keep practicing !!

No matter how slow u r,every journey start with a single step..

U will fall,u will stand up again..nd one day u will be running.Dats it...

thanks bros, Nna and Friday! Gonna try my best!

also would like to know something else! Can't we have slow and fast at the same time? Like what I did but no more yelling! Or I should just rap the verses and sing the chorus?

as a beginner it wasnt bad. the have flow but need to improve. needed better mixing. u gotta learn mixin better or tell somebody else 2 do it fr ya.

ye.. u can i guess- like fast en slow flow in teh same track.. well it depends i guess on a lotta things- u cant mess it up en... i suck at mixing too.. nex time get some1 els to mix it for u or lern how to mix .. hurd its reali imp

JD, just ignore Chigga, he always comes on and disses about 90% of the stuff people put up here because he himself thinks he is amazing. I have a few problems with your verses Chigga but i try and be positive and encouraging, maybe i won't be next time.....

As for this JD, good effort, the singing was especially good. F.L.O is right, you should not choose such a deep topic for your first ever song, the rapping could improve. Try not to shout so much, be calmer and only emphasize on the words you need to.

And Chigga once again, if your not going to be positive or at least constructively criticize, don't say anything. No point in laughing when in fact there is nothing to laugh about. Do you even know what he was rapping about? Not the general boring 50 cent rap stuff like like "Taka kotha bole".....[Sorry had to say that]

Peace