Wafi-This is....

hey people!!!As i promised before i'm back with another track with a delivery far way better then the last one!!!
here is the download link http://www.4shared.com/audio/UYACEs6J/This_is.html
check it out and tell me what you people think!!!!!!!!!

here are the lyrics

VERSE 1
I spit rhymes of fire to define my empire
my turf is a battle field
of a war between good and evil
I have visionary voices whispering in my head
molodies of death I feel like a life just ain't enough for me
I believ in my dreams and I need everything this world has to give
leave me alone confined in my darkness
leave my alone to define my spaces
I'm just one of those man with nothing to lose
but I presume that's what makes me special
I'm a rebel looking for a place to be
fighting my own battle
My flow is dope like the dope you smoke
you don't wanna find out what I'm capable ofI'm a man raised in the city of sin by the whispers of dead people
my voice will take you to a crital level spittin hysterical
rhymes infused with venom that leaves you're mind floattin in a huge vacum

HOOK x2
this is the sound of the dark
the voice of the art
the pain of your heart
a kiss to the death
that's what I call
a beat to my breath

VERSE 2
take a look at my eyes and you will see
that pain which has been filling my life since i was a kid
no time for dreams a huge vacum to fill
And a heart to heal in an oblivious world
i use the night to wage wars against my kind
I'm the destruction of my society you can run but you can't hide
you can't defy me you cathc me on the corner between the light and the dark while I compose my thoughts breaking the limits of the sky above
make feel bad couse sadness is the only thing
can give to this world filled by sins
I write the pain on the wall off the city
and those fools call'em graffiti
I'm the hatred of your eyes
I bring nightmares to reality
if your life sucks It's me it's not fatality
ready to shatter your minds to free you all from captiptivity
my flow will take to another reality ready to take of breaking the rules of gravity

HOOKx2

common guys any feeds???

Lyric is nice but u need to improve your spittin bro ! Keep practicing..Besta luck !

mc shanz wrote:Lyric is nice but u need to improve your spittin bro ! Keep practicing..Besta luck !

I will be glad if you point out every tiny issues in my spitting I wanna know where I did wrong...I wanna improve...Anyway I think the next time I'll do in bangla...english ain't my thing...two songs and all I did was crap...

u have a talent... a talent of writing n linguistic symbolism... the stuff u wrote for this song is ma kinda lyrics...simple yet deep...no BIG words bt still got ur point very well understood... i jz loved the lines

"I write the pain on the wall off the city
and those fools call'em graffiti"

the problems lie in the spitting...

pronounciation is a big issue... some words u pronounced very well others sounded bizarre...
the 2nd problem would be u don't have proportionate words on each bar which is the reason why one bar is way shorter than the other... i usually prefer the laye'd bak style for myself bt since u like spittin fast i'd suggest that u make each bar long but don't put too many words into them coz then it just sounds like u tried to force the words in2 the timeline so that the bar somehow finishes before the beat drops.

The hooks should have been catchy, i think mode silver pointed this out in some other thread that hooks should be catchy bcoz that's the main part of the track becoz it should get the listeners "hooked" to the track. and there should have been more words in the bars in the hooks coz the hookz sounded really empty...

The mixing was problematic mainly because the double layers u recorded were overlapping with each other which jumbled up the verses... when u spend a long time with a track giv it a break for a day and then listen to it again...that's when u notice such problems like the overlapping bcoz if u've been listenin to the recordin for a long time then u won't notice these problems until later<<<this used to happen to me a lot...

u flow fast and it suites u so i'd suggest listenin to mode silver or camz since they're good wid fast stuff too... and ofcourse there's eminem u can listen 2.

practice for a few hours b4 u spit it on the mic...memorising your lyrics 1st will giv u a better result....

I don't mean any offence ..just criticisin coz u have potential and u can make it work if u put the effort in2 it.... good luck man. peace.

@ The riddler
thanks man It means a lot to me...thanks...the thing is that these are my very first two song in english...I used to rap in Italian and since Italian is totally different from english It's really a great issue to me...I've heard you people's and damn you got a really good accent...I came In BD only a year and half ago and back then I didn't know a single word of english...I've spent the last year on listening to american rap and watching hollywoodian movies to learn english...but damn it's really hard...I'm gonna practice more with my english..for now I'm gonna do stuff in bangla that I think will be much better...my upcoming tracks will be all in bangla so while I keep practicing my english..when I get better enough I'll put some...rappin in english is really hard to me becouseI have a lot of things to think about like the bars the flow the accent and the pronunciation and in the end ti all become a mess...about the mixing well it wasn't the mixing ita was the preamp...I need to set it better so that it catches my "pitchy" voice without distortion...however thanks i lot I'll be practicing my english but for now I'll do only in bangla..I think it's better so that you guys don't have to bear my hilarous english spittin for a while...thanks really for the critcs...I apreciate it

@ The riddler
thanks man It means a lot to me...thanks...the thing is that these are my very first two song in english...I used to rap in Italian and since Italian is totally different from english It's really a great issue to me...I've heard you people's and damn you got a really good accent...I came In BD only a year and half ago and back then I didn't know a single word of english...I've spent the last year on listening to american rap and watching hollywoodian movies to learn english...but damn it's really hard...I'm gonna practice more with my english..for now I'm gonna do stuff in bangla that I think will be much better...my upcoming tracks will be all in bangla so while I keep practicing my english..when I get better enough I'll put some...rappin in english is really hard to me becouseI have a lot of things to think about like the bars the flow the accent and the pronunciation and in the end ti all become a mess...about the mixing well it wasn't the mixing ita was the preamp...I need to set it better so that it catches my "pitchy" voice without distortion...however thanks i lot I'll be practicing my english but for now I'll do only in bangla..I think it's better so that you guys don't have to bear my hilarous english spittin for a while...thanks really for the critcs...I apreciate it

woah riddler wrote a lot..jst listen to what he said..i ddin't read thru wat he wrote..lol....but u r improving. keep it up dude.

AKProductions wrote:woah riddler wrote a lot..jst listen to what he said..i ddin't read thru wat he wrote..lol....but u r improving. keep it up dude.

yeah,ridler said it all...I have to improve my english...whatever for now english rap is something I'l put in the store room to devolop it...I'll try in bangla and let's see what happens...

nice lyrics,very meaning full,seems like u hav described a part of ur life in it,bt the problem is in ur pronunciation,the words are not clear,flow was gud,nd nice mixing..gl for ur future tracks..peace

Dijano Vires wrote:nice lyrics,very meaning full,seems like u hav described a part of ur life in it,bt the problem is in ur pronunciation,the words are not clear,flow was gud,nd nice mixing..gl for ur future tracks..peace

thanks homie apreciate it...good luck for you guys too!!

can anyone explain me how the promotions and stuff work???I mean now I have the tag "destinated to rap" how the heck did I get this???It's bout the number of post you make or the skills you show off down here??
sorry for riting it here but I'm too lazy to open a new topic...